So it’s the time of year when everyone, and I mean everyone, does a little blog on what they’re thankful for.
I call bull. The human heart is never thankful. It always thinks that it deserves more.
If you disagree I can only say you are lying to yourself.
For instance: I see a picture of a friend of mine, a published author whose books sell well and who has had a nice long twenty years-plus career. I am happy for her but I am not thankful. I want that. I want to write books people read and have twenty years of nothing but toiling in the literary vineyard.
Instead I am in my law office on a Sunday getting ready for tomorrow’s cases. I have just come back from a restful vacation in Humboldt County. Unlike last year, Mother Nature did not try to kill me–twice–and so I was able to relax.
Last year? Jeeze. I drove up there in a rented car. It supposedly had four-wheel drive. I went up on route 299 during a snowfall but it didn’t seem especially crazy. I even was checked out by CHP and was told my car was okay to navigate the roads.
So I went, gently, around a curve at about 35 miles per hour. Suddenly the car starts to spin on the road. It headed to the cliff on the side of the road. I knew i was gonna die. WEird thing is, I didn’t panic, my life didn’t flash before my eyes. I just said calmly aloud, “Look at this, I’m going to die. Isn’t that interesting.”
The car spun off the road–fortunately no one else was coming the other way–and missed the edge of the cliff by a foot. I know, because I got out and looked at the tire tracks.
So I sat there and waited for CHP to pull me out. About 45 minutes later, they did. Bless them for working on such a day.
Then about 20 minutes later I came around a curve–again, going about 35 mph–and suddenly there was a large unavoidable rock in the middle of the road. If I swerved to avoid it, I would have gone over another cliff. So I had to run over it.
Which screwed up the car for the rest of the ride. I drove down the 299 for another 4 hours at 20 miles per hour.
I have decided that the 299 doesn’t like me. I avoided it this year.
So, no, I’m not thankful. You will say, “But Mark, aren’t you thankful you’re alive?” to which I reply, “Should I be thankful that Mother Nature failed to kill me? Isn’t that like being grateful to your abuser?”
On the other hand, my son’s mother cooked a wonderful turkey and we had a nice dinner. I drove home in the little black pony (my Kia Rio) and made a few wrong turns that added 2 hours to my 10 hour drive. Got home at 9.
It was good to be home but I was not thankful. Thankful for a 2 hour delay? Come on.
I don’t want you to get the wrong impression. Every day I wake and thank the Good Lord for one more day on this planet, even if it is a day in which I am not an author with a published best-selling novel.
But I think God every day. I don’t carve out one particular day per year to tell Him how much I appreciate Him.
Mother Nature, on the other hand…well, let’s just say the two of us have issues.
Mark Bruce, Writer 