If there is one rule for blogging–and I suspect there are more rules than just one–it is: Make it exciting.
Sorry.
I am not an exciting person. I am a dull and stupid man, as one of my now-defunct (MySpace!) blogs was called.
Really. Look over the topics on this site. Does anything excite You? One of my posts is called “In Synopsis Hell.” One is rendered unconscious just reading the title.
I think it’s because I’m not a terribly social person. I don’t have lots of friends that go out drinking together (or, in this Covid age, Zooming while drinking together). I don’t have gorgeous women breaking down my door. They don’t even send me postcards.
(And, no, I am not going to be so unkind as to say anything about the beautiful women who have favored me with their companionship over the years. You will be surprised to learn that among my many ex-girlfriends are a swimsuit model, a stripper, three lawyers and a nurse. All beautiful, so far as I’m concerned. Every woman who decides to take a chance on me is beautiful to me, no matter what the world says.)
My son, now there’s an interesting fellow. He’s getting a Ph.D in Aerospace Engineering at Michigan University. Yes, he’s a rocket scientist. He and his beautiful wife are expecting their first child in March (my first grandchild!). He is a dedicated Catholic–so much so that he goes to Latin Mass each Sunday. He has lots of friends. But no blog. He’s a lot smarter than me.
I also recall that once my blog got me fired. It was back in the MySpace days. My ex-girlfriend (the stripper) swooped in and said something caustic on one of my entries. Instead of deleting her (as any sane person would do), I engaged in a little tit for tat with her, which attracted 300 views. A few years later, when someone in Humboldt was looking for a reason to complain about me so they could get me fired, they came across that exchange. They went to my boss and said that they didn’t feel comfortable working with me due to the exchange.
Dear reader, the most unsettling things were said by my ex, not me. But if they’re looking for a reason to let you go–and my boss wanted to hire this guy he’d known before and needed me to leave to make room for him–then any old stupid reason will do.
(It didn’t end well for the organization I worked for. After a year of this guy’s leadership, they shut down the office and didn’t reopen it for two years. I believe the word that describes what I felt when hearing that is “Schadenfreude.” Look it up.)
So maybe it’s not good to be TOO interesting. On the other hand, I now work for myself. No one is going to fire me. If I make my monthly “nut,” I’m content with my work.
So this blog no longer sends up flares in the night to get me fired. Even if one of my clients should stumble across it, I’m pretty careful these days to keep my pants around my waist and my mind out of the gutter. At least while writing the blog.
Mark Bruce, Writer 