For most of us, Love is the great adventure of our lives.
We will never save the world by cutting the right wire to the nuclear bomb a second before it goes off. We will never commit a brave deed in the middle of combat. We will never climb Everest. We will never throw the One Ring into the volcano and save Middle Earth.
But Love? All of us encounter it sooner or later in our lives. And compared to the mundanity of the rest of our lives–our jobs, our schools, our dinners–Love is the exciting, unpredictable, moment where everything seems to hang in the balance. Will you ask that pretty girl to the dance, or will you chicken out? If your courage fails, will you suffer agony when some other guy wins her hand? Will you marry that person who makes you feel exhilarated? Will she marry someone else?
Love is the Great Adventure. It’s also the Great Tragedy, the Great Comedy, the Great Disappointment. And the Great Puzzle.
Recently, I have been resisting falling in love with a woman I met at an open mic. She’s pretty, she’s talented, she’s quirky. And she’s 22. Yikes! For a man my age, a 22 year old girl is like Foxglove in my tea. Sure, it seems like a good idea when you are face to face with her. But it’s plain stupid for an old man to even think of dating a young girl.
As they say, I’ve got priors. Exactly 10 years ago when I was in my 50s I foolishly became infatuated with a 20-year-old girl who I thought was sending me signals that she might venture into Love’s Forest with me. She and I met at a writing class. She gave me longing looks across the room. She let me walk her home, said I was “cool,” seemed to be waiting for me to make my move.
Faint heart never won fair lady, as the expression goes. I wrote her a long love letter which I handed to her at the Christmas break. When we came back in January, she had emailed me to tell me I was toxic and annoying and how dare I even think of her in that way.
On the other hand, the times I have dated women “my age” (45 or older) I have been abused, insulted, and drained of emotion and money. I recently returned a call from one of those “age appropriate” woman I dated for many years. We didn’t get through five minutes of conversation before she began telling me that I had dumped her because I was forced to wheel her around in a wheelchair when she’d been injured. This was completely not true. This woman had decided she didn’t want to see me after some time dating. I wasn’t giving her what she wanted. Which was money. Sigh.
Sigh. Is it any wonder I have spent the last few years totally alone?
Fortunately, I have also experience another Great Adventure: Raising my beautiful son. He’s now 33 and has two beautiful children, with another on the way. These grandchildren love me unconditionally. They are the sole joy in my life, other than writing and music.
God can be merciful. I live alone but I can see my grandchildren (after a 2 hour drive) and revive my soul.
As to the young woman I am desperately trying not to fall in love with, she is a beautiful soul and a funny girl. I am going to play it safe and worship her from afar. That is my gifr to her.
Mark Bruce, Writer 