The Tyranny of New Year’s
December 31 is in two days. Your Cultural Overlords demand that you celebrate. You must attend a party. It must be chaotic and wild. You must drink to excess. If you decide to drive after such drinking, all the better. We need to reduce the surplus population. You must count down the seconds until Jan…
Yule Warp
Christmas barrels in like a Japanese bullet train flying toward Tokyo. It stomps on our lives like Godzilla smashing Tokyo. It is as busy as a Tokyo street. It is as confounding as a Tokyo street sign. I have never been to Tokyo, but I’ve watched a lot of anime and I think this is…
December 23
A song I entered into the Great American Songwriting Contest. I usually don’t win these things but I think this is one of the best songs I’ve ever written. What do you think?
Celebrity Lives
Don’t know about you, but I am signally not interested in what Gwen Stephani and Blake Shelton are up to. Ditto the Kardashians, any of them. Doja Cat can stay in her litter box, for all I care. Ariana Grande says she needs to be carried everywhere so that her delicate feet don’t touch the…
The Villian Explains
One of the mystery writing tropes which drives me nuts is the moment in a book where the villain feels compelled to explain everything he’s done. Usually this happens when the protagonist is helpless, at the complete mercy of the bad guy. The protagonist often says something like, “I guess you’ve been very clever in…
More Music
Here we go with more of my songs. The open mic is Ventura’s “The Listening Room” at NAMBA, which is an arts organization with an unfortunate acronym. They’re all good people, promise.
An Unhealthy Appetite
When a child eats vigorously and with relish (as well as mustard), the grown-ups will say “That boy has a healthy appetite.” I have been in Diabetes Hell for 15 years now. I can tell you that there is also such a thing as an “Unhealthy Appetite.” As a Diabetic, I have to avoid sugar.…
Sgt. Bruce
That handsome young man above is me, though it’s hard to believe. I have never been that good looking. I think someone is punking me. Tuesday will be Veteran’s Day, and I will be entitled to a free breakfast at IHop. I went in Sunday just to confirm. Also to have a nice pancake. I…
I’m Not Old, Just Marinated
Next month I will be 69 years old. Other than a salacious joke on the sexual significance of the number, I can’t say I’m looking forward to it. I mean, when you turn 60, you’re old. When you turn 65 you’re a “senior citizen.” When you hit 70 (which I will next year), you enter…
Say What?
Some people say stupid things. Some people say hurtful things. Some people say offensive things. Some people say things they think are funny but are not. Some people say disgusting things. Some people say annoying things. Some people say outrageous things. Some people say things they shouldn’t say. Some people say things that piss you…
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Mark Bruce, Writer 