Category Archives: Uncategorized

Every night when my grandfather came home from his job at Continental Can Company in East L.A., he’d lay his lunchpail on the kitchen table. “Hello, Lloyd,” Grandma would say. “Hello, battleaxe,” he’d reply. They were married until death, more than 30 years. When I was in the Air Force and temporarily stationed at Chicksands,Continue reading “Love, Sideways”

Mystery publishers hate sex. That’s what I’ve been told, at least. I once wrote a funny little mystery novel, “Naked Lies,” in which a stripper causes trouble for the main character’s client. Hilarious hijinks ensue. At one point it is very important for the stripper and the main character to have sex. It is equallyContinue reading “Sex and the Single Publisher”

Main character likes to tell Hitler jokes. Buddy of main character is gourmet cockroach chef. Too many porcupines, not enough armadillos. Your protagonist gets lazy and lets Siri solve the mystery for him. Protagonist’s catch phrase is, “Don’t that put a bunch in your panties?” Detailed explanations of Spider Solitaire games provide all the action.Continue reading “Ten Mistakes You’re Making in Your Novel”

Just found out that Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine is taking their third Minerva story, Minerva James and the River God. It’s been sitting with them for a year. I went on the website today to check, and it says “accepted.” I hope it’s not a typo. This will make the tenth Minerva James story publishedContinue reading “Hooray”

Saturday I attended a funeral. Being an anti-social creature these days, I rarely attend such community events, but I had to go to say goodbye. The deceased was a friend of mine from the San Bernardino Public Defender’s Office. He was a genial and funny fellow, a good lawyer, a caring PD. He was tenContinue reading “Funeral for a Friend”

Now we come to a weird thing in a writer’s life. When you finish a big project, as I just finished a novel a few weeks ago, you know that the worst thing you can do is embark on another long project. You need to recharge your batteries. Ah, but the writer is an eternalContinue reading “Writing Buffet”

So what do we do in this life if we don’t believe? Believe in something. Believe in God. Believe in Buddha. Believe in Chocolate. Believe in furry bunnies. Believe in Music, as Mac Davis once admonished us to do. Believe in something. Those who believe in nothing live dark, dreary lives in which their daysContinue reading “Believing”

I came across an old CD from a friend of mine recently. The singer, who went by the name Wonderwench was talented, had a wonderful voice, and never treated me with the contempt I deserved. I hadn’t heard the CD in many years. I remember enjoying the woman’s songs and performances. But as I listenedContinue reading “Good News, For Once”

I am a firm believer in the concept that when you are going through a difficulty, it helps to put a name to the problem. For the last few weeks I have been lethargic in my writing. I even went through two days when I didn’t even have the energy to write in my journal.Continue reading “Post-Novel Depression”

I do not think of myself as a writing guru, and will not until my books are selling in the millions. Even then, I will be highly suspicious of any advice I can give other writers, seeing how I struggled for 65 years to get anything of value published. Still, these are things I’ve learnedContinue reading “Mark Bruce’s Ten Rules for Writing Anything”