“Muslims are trying to take over this country and destroy it. Nothing you can say will convince me otherwise.”
My brother, who calls himself a conservative, told me this on the telephone.
“Glenn, Muslims in America have the same religious rights as anyone. That pesky first Amendment thing,” I said.
“I don’t care. They don’t love this country. They’re here to destroy it. Nothing you can say will convince me otherwise.”
“So your mind is closed,” I said.
“No, I have an open mind. It’s just I know I’m right.”
“Glenn, by saying you can’t convince me otherwise, you’re telling me that you’ve closed your mind.”
“Just like a liberal,” he said. “As soon as I say something you disagree with, you say I have a closed mind.”
“Okay, let’s test it,” I said. “You know that I was stationed in Turkey, a Muslim country, when I was in the air force.”
“Yeah. That makes you an expert?”
“No. But I do have a little more understanding about Islam than you. I have friends that are Muslim. I’ve read books on Islam. I’ve watched interviews with Muslims.”
“And they all want to take over the country.”
“No, my brother,” I said. “They want the same things you do. A good school for their kids. A good job to work at. The freedom to worship according to their faith. Honest government. Peaceful neighborhoods.”
“But I see online that they’re tearing apart Dearborn in Michigan, chanting Death to America.”
I googled the incident.
“It looks like what happened is a right-wing influencer named Lang came to town to hold an anti-muslim rally and wasn’t welcomed with open arms.”
“What liberal rag are you getting that from?”
“Um, Google.”
“I thought so.” Even though we were on the phone, I could see him with his arms folded.
“You’re not going to convince me otherwise,” he repeated.
“That’s the definition of a closed mind,” I said.
“I have an open mind. I just know I’m right.”
“If I can’t convince you, you have closed off to everything that might persuade you otherwise. As Frank Zappa said, a mind is like a parachute. It works best when it’s open.”
“I have an open mind,” he stubbornly repeated. “I know I’m right about the Muslims.”
“Have any Muslim friends you can talk to?”
“Of course not.”
“Ever been to a Muslim country?”
“Nope.”
“Ever read a book about Islam? Seen a documentary? Read a magazine article?”
“Don’t need to. I saw something online and that’s all I need to know.”
“And how reliable is the internet?”
Silence.
“You’re not convincing me otherwise and I’m hanging up now.”
Poor Glenn. He failed the Parachute test.
